I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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