Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
