i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
