i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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