yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
