I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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