I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
