There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize