I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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