Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize