Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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