those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
