So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
