So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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