the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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