He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't turn off my feet"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
