Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
