Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
