I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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