He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
