i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
