My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
