if only i could text you this smell
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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