would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
