I'm going to jail i love you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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