just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
