roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
