dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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