Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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