Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
