ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're completely useless in the revolution.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
