why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He passed out mid-signature
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
