Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
