he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize