well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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