I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
