Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
