he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
