Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
