Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
