5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
