i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
