I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
