I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
