Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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