please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
