just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize