i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
false alarm. still invincible.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
