this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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