Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
