i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
