Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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