Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize