Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
