There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
