the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize