never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im holly from the hills drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
