Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
