the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
